THE PEE TRAIN
Last night I had a chance to hang out with a couple of friends and engage in a thing called socializing. It’s a special thing. Part of the reason I don’t hang out much is because my apartment is about an hour and a half from Manhattan, which makes for a brutal trek home after an evening of wine tasting. Though I’ll say this: getting on a subway at night, on Tuesday, in the summer tends to rally the senses.Â
I have an area on the “F” train that I must sit or stand in whenever I commute. I’ve become obsessive about it because I truly believe it is the most comfortable place to be stationed on the subway. I will not describe said spot because I don’t want to find any additional New Yorkers there tomorrow. Anyway, when I sat down last night in my favorite seat it was immediately apparent to me that I was in for a long commute. Sitting directly across from me was a not-so-young couple with a kid that looked to be two or three; all three of them looked like they should have been in bed.  Whereas four years ago I would have gotten the hell out of there, I opted to stay put. My skin has grown thick. So I whipped out the latest issue of Black Enterprise and started to read about folk much richer than me.Â
At some point I looked up from my reading because of a quiet commotion brewing between the new family. The kid was whining and the parents were speaking to him with scrunched faces in some foreign tongue that I didn’t recognize. Only after a little while did I realized what I was looking at unfold. Embarrassed, I quickly averted my eyes and tried to ignore one of many “only in New York” scenarios I had just witnessed: The kid had been standing there, naked from the waist down, peeing on the floor of the train. The parents had a “nothing to see here, everything is just ducky” look on their faces. I was appalled in kind of a comedic way. When the boy finished the mother wiped it up and put the wet napkin to the side in plain view.Â
Now, I get that potty training is a challenge that many of us weren’t/aren’t prepared for.  My boy was a late bloomer, which means I fully understand the overwhelming desire to not have gains taken away by the fact that there are no bathrooms on the subway. But come on. That was nasty. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves. And I can’t see how it’s all that helpful to the potty training process to teach that you can pee anywhere you like as long as you don’t pee in your clothes. I’m sorry, that’s one accident that my boy would have just had to deal with.
Posted: July 11th, 2007 under AAD ON MOTHERS, I JUST HAD TO MENTION.
Comments: 14
Comments
Comment from jk
Time: July 11, 2007, 9:56 pm
Hi. I can and I can’t believe they let that kid pee on the train! I hope that the kid will develop more common sense than the parents…
Love your weblog!!!
Comment from whit
Time: July 11, 2007, 9:58 pm
That’s crazy. I’ll admit, I’ve pulled the car into some odd spots for the boy to do his thing, but on the subway?
Wait, I thought you were allowed to pee on the subway.
Comment from Darren
Time: July 12, 2007, 9:27 am
I agree–I’d have made the kid pee in his pants.
This reminds me of something I saw on the subway a few years ago. There was a woman with two young kids, one boy and one girl, squeezed into the seats near the door just under the emergency break. Without warning, the girl stood and threw up. The boy looked at it, stood and also threw up. Not knowing what to do, the woman stood and pulled the emergency break. I was pissed at the time, but I think it’s kind of funny now.
Comment from Gyamfua
Time: July 12, 2007, 10:29 am
Wow…they couldn’t like pull to a corner and let the kid pee in the corner….but then again, in China the kids have holes in the bottom of the pants so they can easily squat where needed and pee or shit as they please!
Comment from BH
Time: July 12, 2007, 11:11 am
Thanks for helping me enjoy my lunch time Mountain Dew
Comment from Sita
Time: July 12, 2007, 11:41 am
Only in NYC. I always see the most amazing things there. LOL.
Comment from Lori
Time: July 12, 2007, 1:18 pm
Ooh, straight nasty (smile). But I’ve gotta say, I can deal a lot better with a kid handling the “call of nature” in a public fashion, than some grown-a$$ adult.
Back in my old neighborhood, I happened to be looking out the window one day and noticed some guy taking a leak against the fence in my neighbor’s backyard. At the time, our neighborhood had been experiencing a rash of thefts . . . crackheads stealing folks’s lawnmowers, Sunday newspapers (no lie) and the like.
Anyway I called over and told my neighbor, “Hey, D. there’s some dude relieving himself in your backyard. You might want to check it out.”
D. told me, “No, he’s all right. That’s just a guy I hired to do some yard work.” I didn’t say it, but I thought to myself, “Yeah, I guess that’s one way of watering the lawn.”
Comment from los angelista
Time: July 12, 2007, 6:02 pm
Oh man, that’s gross. Your favorite spot will now forever be associated with that little kid doing his business on the floor.
Comment from luxhie
Time: July 14, 2007, 1:19 pm
Honestly, you could have moved to show your disgust and disapproval. Kinda Older-Dad style. No words spoken.
Question: Are you rich and just waiting to purchase your place on eastern Long Island? (Reading in Black Enterprise about folks who are much richER than you)
Or were you pulling on the old homily about being rich in love and friends? 
Comment from The Goddess
Time: July 16, 2007, 12:19 pm
That is some funny mess. What would prompt someone to think it’s ok to allow their child to strip naked on a train and take a pee! Come on now. That is crazy.
We’re going through the potty training thing at home and have to watch my little one very closely cause he will snatch his diaper off so fast it’s not even funny. I’m thinking he’ll be a late bloomer too.
Comment from Ehav Ever
Time: July 17, 2007, 11:15 am
I will admit you just about see everything in New York. I have seen the kids peeing in public areas in Central Park before, but not the train. Yet, I have been in some subways that smell like someone has been there.
Comment from West
Time: July 20, 2007, 8:36 am
Amazing.
Comment from 789&10
Time: July 28, 2008, 10:07 pm
I think a lot of parents of little boys are becoming kinda lazy with teaching their sons how to use a toilet properly. Okay so anyway, I work at an after-school/summer camp program with 6 and 7 year olds, and today I was asked to take a bunch of little boys to the bathroom. You think peeing in a subway train is bad, but these kids couldn’t even do it right when they had a toilet. Most of them didn’t even close the stall door, some of them pulled their pants ALL THE WAY DOWN (6 and 7 year olds using urinals no less), and almost NONE OF THEM even bothered to put the toilet seat UP before they started going pee-pee (the ones using regular toilets). I was really disgusted I even yelled at a few of them pointing to the toilet seats that were drenched in pee, I told them that sometimes people have to actually sit on those. When these parents potty train their sons, they really need to keep on them until they have good habits. If I didn’t use the bathroom properly when I was a kid, my parents would have made me clean up the mess myself and given me a two hour lecture.
Comment from Z Coop
Time: September 11, 2009, 10:29 pm
Weird, wrong, and awesome at the same time…
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