Comments on: BOW AND HELLO

By: Ben

Ben — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:59:01 +0000

I live in NJ, about a stones throw from NYC and have worked there most of my adult years. I’ve also been to other parts of the country that look more like foreign lands to me than anything else. Here’s what I find.

Folks in nearly every other part of the country are more openly friendly and cordial than people in the Greater NYC area. BUT, I find that you can approach almost anyone with a friendly face and a genuine smile. The human condition requires that we connect with others. We can’t survive without it. So most people respond to it.

I had a conversation with someone I approached in Starbucks because she was on Facebook. We quickly moved to a conversation about Facebook etiquette. The basic point of contention was you shouldn’t be or “friend” people on FB that you don’t know in the real world. I view on is, then what’s the piont of being on FB then. People want to do in the real world what they can do in the virtual world which is: “Be cordial, have a friendly conversation, then move on.”

By: Dante

Dante — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 09:25:26 +0000

I, too, am from Texas, and I can say that I have experienced the “what in the hell are you doing” look a time or two when I traveled up north(Ohio and Chicago). I like to talk to people in positive situations, but seeing that the majority of times when folks(black, white, & mexican) are willing to talk is when they are in ‘complaining’ mode.
It’s sad that society has gotten to the fact that I’ll get a text before I get a call, or a e-card before one in the snail mail. People really are losing the fundamental social skill of saying ‘Hi’ while making eye contact and possibly waving *gasp*.
As far as archery, it is a focus oriented activity. I’ve moved up from the range to pecking off the squirrels in my back yard. In my neighborhood we call them tree rats…no joke.

My $0.02,

By: Mr. Man

Mr. Man — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:17:48 +0000

I’ll be another so will say, “It depends”. I live in Texas and, just depending on where I am (what city, what neighborhood, etc.) kinda determines the level of social interaction. I sometimes think that, despite our sometimes exterior gruffness, we are inwardly fragile. Thus afraid to reach out to others for fear of rejection. Social interation online is different. There is a hugh barrier (the WWW) that keeps you from experiencing the pain. We risk losing the ability to feel deeply by pulling away from the human touch and conversation.

By: Yolanda

Yolanda — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:10:23 +0000

I think it depends on where you live in the country. I’ve been told people in the midwest aren’t friendly and chatty because its too cold and windy most months of the year to do anything but to try to escape the frigid cold. For me personally it took leaving Texas to live in New York, Seattle, and then Atlanta to appreciate just how friendly Texans truly are. I made more good new friends living here a few months than I did over several years in Seattle. But then there’s also more people here that I have more in common with than I did in any of the previous places so I’m not sure if that is making the difference.

We were in the mall yesterday and there were tons of teens there (it’s spring break) in groups, sitting quietly together, texting like crazy and not saying one word to each other. It will be interesting to see how social networking impacts future generations.

By: Corey

Corey — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 10:27:37 +0000

This is interesting, Keith. I haven’t read the comment firsthand, but my first reaction is that I don’t agree with it, at least geographically. In NY, it may be so… I know when I visited friends in NY, (not even the city, proper, but the ‘burbs!) I tried to chitchat store clerks and make eye contact with my friends neighbors etc, and my friends were like “what are you DOING?!” because that was just not DONE and I was being a small town dork. We currently live in PA, and I frequently make conversation with clerks, people I’m in line with, other moms at school pickup, etc. I CAN put on on that face if I don’t feel like it, but it’s pretty common that someone else will start up a conversation if I don’t.

One thing I do wonder about with regard to this issue though is beyond geography, how race and/or age enter into the mix. Older people will start a conversation based on my kids, frequently (and not necessarily on the racial mix, but just on their antics). White men and women easily start conversations with me. But I have an incredibly difficult time even getting black men and women to make eye contact so I can open a conversation (or even so I can smile and say hi, as we pass on the street). I am curious as to whether I would have this same experience if I was a black woman (ie whether this is still an issue of geographic culture.. as we have many folks in this area that moved here from NY and/or NJ) or whether this is a black/white experience. Would there be more openness and familiarity if I was black, but less so with white people? I don’t know. Just something I mull over in my “free” time.